Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Out damn spot!


There's been a green spot in my heart lately. The spot has been rearing its head more often than I want to admit and definitely more often than I like.

Jealousy. It's an ugly word and an ugly feeling and I need it zapped. Stat!

Why I feel it, I am at a loss. I am where I am because of choices I've made and those choices have gifted me a loving husband, a beautiful family I celebrate each day and the memories of endless months discovering foreign lands. I would never give those up.

So what is the source of my envy? Bi-fold doors, flat green-grassed lawns where barefooted children run carefree, a children's playroom so we can shut the door on the 'mess', an oven that works and a stove-top burner where all the burners burn. I long for a front door that caresses each visitor with welcoming beauty and flowers in my drought-stricken garden that are ripe for picking and placing in beautiful vases throughout the home. Home Beautiful you have a lot to answer for!

It seems all my peers have reached the stage of building their dream homes. And it is all gorgeousness and clean lines. We are far from it with our burdensome mortgage and temporary one wage. And I want it, but can't have it.

I must listen to the advice I sing to my Firstborn with his endless I wants...

'You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometime you well you just might find

You get what you need .'
(Word!, Rolling Stones).

And I must set him a better example about what really matters. Out damn spot!