Monday 30 April 2012

Grateful: A true partner

Photo from here


I met a woman this week; a mum to a baby and a toddler. She was confident, friendly, down-to-earth and lives in my neighbourhood. More than the trifecta. A possible new friend!

So I was unprepared for the surprise and the pause-for-thought she was about to give me.

She was talking about her husband, his work, her work and then she suddenly told me about his expectations of her and her role when she is a stay-at-home mum. Continuing on she explained her husband wants all housework done, kids bathed and bedded and dinner ready by the time he gets home. And all house-hold work was to be completed during the week so that their weekends are clear & easy. She explained it all very matter-of-factly. No ounce of complaint in her voice.

Now, that clear & easy weekend sounds pretty, damned attractive to me. If not heavenly. And if I were more organised I'd aim for that too.

No, it was the word expectations that made me double-take.

I've heard of these husbands. A past neighbour had one. I overheard him yelling at her one night that if she did her job (at home with two kids) like he did his, he'd be fired. But I guess I just thought that as women were becoming more independent, more likely to work outside the home themselves, that this was a rarer thing. Perhaps not.

What I do know is that it renewed my gratefulness for the hubby I do have. One that is disappointed if the kids are in bed before he gets home, one who helps me tidy up at night if the chaos has reigned supreme that day. A man who would never dictate his expectations, but would discuss anything needing to be done with me as his equal, as partners in raising our family. A man who tells me weekly what a good job I do keeping the kids healthy and happy.

Who respects that I am an adult who does the best job I can any given day, simply because I love and care about my children and our home. Not because I am told what is expected.

Lucky me. Phew. Wow.

Yes, lucky me.

I'm linking up with Maxabella's 52 weeks of grateful. And I'm grateful for that too!

8 comments:

  1. Wow! Sounds like something straight out of the sixties! I too am lucky to have a lovely partner who does not have unrealistic expectations and who appreciates the work I do, even if not all the 'jobs' are done.

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    1. It puts all those annoying hubby idiosyncrasies into perpective, doesn't it?

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  2. Thank you, Leanne. I'm loving the reminders that Grateful is giving!

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  3. WOW. I've never met anyone who lives in those circumstances, and I am VERY grateful for my husband, who sounds very similar to yours. Thank goodness!

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    1. It's confronting, isn't it? It just blows my mind that in the modern day she was quite comfortable with their, um his, arrangement.

      Thanks for stopping by, Kylie :)

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  4. Fascinating. Is she happy? love the blog x

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    1. Hi FF. Yes, I think she was, or at least was saying she was. Makes it even more intriguing!

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